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To Joseph Johnson; September 13th 1787

My dear sir,
Since I saw you, I have, literally speaking, enjoyed solitude. My sister could not accompany me in my rambles; I therefore wandered alone, by the side of the Thames, and in the neighboring beautiful fields and pleasure grounds: the prospects were of such of placid kind, I caught tranquillity while I surveyed them--my mind was still, though active. Were I to give you an account how I have spent my time, you would smile.—

… after these excursions, I returned to the family meals, told the children stories (they think me vastly agreeable), and my sister was amused.--Well, will you allow me to call this way of passing my days pleasant?
     I was just going to mend my pen; but I believe it will enable me to say all I have to add to this epistle. Have you yet heard of an habitation for me? I often think of my new plan of life; and, lest my sister should try to prevail on me to alter it, I have avoided mention it to her. I am determined!--Your sex generally laughs at female determinations; but let me tell you, I never yet resolved to do anything of consequence, that I did not adhere resolutely to it, till I had accomplished my purpose, improbable it might have appeared to a more timid mind.  In the course of near nine-and-twenty years, I have gathered some experience, and felt many severe disappointments—and what is the amount?  I long for a little peace and independence!  Every obligation we receive from our fellow-creatures is a new shackle, takes from our native freedom, and debases the mind, makes us mere earthworms—I am not fond of groveling!

I am, sir, yours &c.
M. W.
 
 

Letter  to Joseph Johnson
Paris, December 26th, 1792

I should immediately on the receipt of your letter, my dear friend, have thanked you for your punctuality, for it highly gratified me.  I had not wish to wait till I could tell you that this day was not stained with blood. Indeed the prudent precautions taken by the National Convention to prevent a tumult, made me suppose that the dogs of faction would not dare to bark, much less to bite, however true to their scent; and I was not mistaken; for the citizens, who were all called out, returning home with composed countenances, shouldering their arms. About 9 o’clock this morning, the king past by my window moving silently along (except for now and then a few strokes on the drum, which rendered to the stillness more awful) through empty streets, surrounded by the National Guards, who, clustering around the carriage, seem to deserve their name. The inhabitants flocked to their windows, but the casements were all shut, not a voice was heard, nor did I see anything like an insulting gesture.--for the first time since I entered France, I bowed to the majesty of the people, and respected the propriety of behavior so perfectly in unison with my own feelings. I can scarcely tell you why, but an association of ideas made the tears flow insensibly from my eyes, when I saw Louis sitting, with more dignity than I expected from his character, in a hackney coach going to meet death, where so many of his race have triumphed. My fancy instantly brought Louis XIV, entering the capital for his pomp, after one of the victories most flattering to his pride, only to see the sunshine of prosperity overshadowed by the sublime gloom of misery. I have been alone ever since; and, though my mind is calm, I cannot dismiss the light of the images that have killed my imagination all the day.--nay, do not smile, but pity me; for, once or twice, the lifting my eyes from the paper, I have seen eyes glare through a glass door opposite my chair, and bloody hands shook at me. Not the distant sound of a footstep can I hear. My apartments are remote from those of the servants, the only persons who sleep with me in an immense hotel, one folding door opening after another.--I wish I had even kept the cat with me!--I want to see something alive: death in so many frightful shapes has taken hold of my fancy.--I'm going to bed--and, for the first time in my life, cannot put up the candle. M. W.